7 minutes
by Lololova
Summary: Inspired by the song 7 minutes by Dean Lewis. Enjoy!


_**Inspired** by the song 7 minutes by Dean Lewis. Enjoy!_

* * *

"You ready?" Jim Beckett asked as his daughter Kate Beckett came out of the bathroom in the hospital room.

"Yeah, dad, I'm ready," she said putting on a smile she knew for a fact her father could see right through.

She kind of wondered why she bothered pretending she was fine, he'd known her since she was born and could tell when she was faking. She was not fine. She was as far from fine as she'd ever gotten. Her chest was still hurting, _everything_ hurt. She was shot at a funeral. _A funeral!_ As if it hadn't been enough that they had killed her captain, they had to try and kill her too. Kate didn't get it though. Roy Montgomery, her captain, had told her he would sacrifice himself in order to save her, so _why _did they come after her?

Jumping into her father's car Kate had to clench her teeth not to let go of the whimper of pain wanting to leave her mouth. She didn't like the constant worry that had taken over her father's face the past few weeks. Last time something this big had happened in their family it had driven him to the bottle and she hoped to whoever was listening that he wouldn't fall back into bad habits. She knew her mother wouldn't want him to, _hell, I don't want him to_. Kate was trying her best not to think about her mother. _Not_ that she didn't want to think about Johanna Beckett and all the mother-daughter moments they had, but because she was already having nightmares as it was and thinking about her mother only added to them. Johanna was killed when Kate was nineteen and it was her killer that had ordered the bullet to Kate's heart, and Kate wanted to _not_ think about the case or anything related. It gave her anxiety, more than she already had, and she just wanted to heal in peace and quiet. It was why she was on her way to the cabin her family had own since she was a kid.

"You sure you don't need anything before we leave?" her father pulled her out of her thoughts as he started the engine and she looked towards him.

"No, everything I need will already be there," she answered for the hundredth of time.

She had a feeling her father was hoping for another answer, perhaps even hoping for her to say she wanted to meet the writer, but she just wanted out of there. She wanted to forget everything and just... crawl into a ball and cry in her bed without anyone knowing she was weak, broken. Her father had mentioned the writer once or twice before, saying how it was none of his business but that he would like to know why she hadn't mentioned him during the last few weeks she'd been in recovery in the hospital. Kate had shrugged it off, saying she had told the writer she needed time to heal before she would be able to function again. Her father had tried getting her to call him when he noticed she got more energy but she'd given him a narrowed gaze and told him it was indeed none of his business. Her father had kept his mouth shut then, probably been too scared she'd shut him out too if he didn't, but she knew she should've called him. Richard Castle, the writer, had been her partner for almost three years and at the funeral, when she was shot, he'd told her he loved her. She was _bleeding out _in the grass and he picked that precise moment to say he _loved_ her. She wasn't sure if it had been him being scared of losing her and needing to tell her _some_thing, or if he actually _meant_ it.

"Katie, are you okay?"

Kate restrained from rolling her eyes. "Dad, I'm _fine_." The words didn't mean that much anymore, considering she'd said them one too many times but she hoped it would at least soothe her father a little bit. _Or make him stop questioning me_.

Kate carefully moved her body into a position that wouldn't hurt during the ride and leant her head to the window, closing her eyes to pretend she was tired. This way she hoped her dad wouldn't ask more of his questions but would let her be for the rest of their time in the car. When she closed her eyes, though, a pair of blue ones stared into hers. What had made her think she would ever escape them? She kept seeing his face every time she closed her eyes, ever since even before the shot. However after the bullet she kept seeing him in a new way, _he said he loves me_. The biggest question she kept circling back to was; _did he mean it?_ Kate sighed and immediately regretted it, her chest stinging with the slightest of pain due to the movement of her lungs. She bit her lower lip to try and focus on that sting instead but it didn't help. To her relief her dad didn't say anything though, she didn't want to tell the lie for the hundredth time. Without any effort at all, once the pain subsided, her mind circled back to the writer.

Richard Castle had left her alone for the past few weeks, hadn't called nor texted, and if she was to be honest to herself she was starting to feel a little worried. It wasn't like him to leave her all alone, he'd always found a way to snake his way back into her life. _So, why hasn't he?_ Maybe he hadn't meant what he said and that was why he'd not reached out to her again. Perhaps he just wanted to leave that day behind as much as she did. A part of her _didn't_ want to leave that day behind though. His blue eyes were constantly invading her mind when she was awake, and at night her dreams were filled with horror of _him_ being the one getting shot instead of her. She wasn't sure what she would've done if he had been on time and managed to throw himself in front of her that day. He'd acted so stupid trying to put himself in front of her and she had a feeling she would never be truly okay with the way he'd acted. _He could've been killed!_ And she didn't know what she would've done if that had happened. A sudden thought popped up in her mind, _what if they never talked again?_ What if. Hadn't that been kind of what Royce had written? No, it had been _if only_ but wasn't that similar? Kate wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. She was in her father's car on her way to the cabin where she was planning on spending the rest of her summer to heal without anyone seeing her weakened state. _Well, except for dad_. He would be the only one seeing her, and that's how she wanted it to be. _I think_. The fear of losing him was stronger than she thought it would be though.

"Katie?" her dad broke her thoughts and she opened her eyes to look at him. "Do you want to stop for lunch on the way or do you want me to cook something once we get to the cabin?"

She looked at the road, realizing they must've gotten out of the city about seven minutes earlier, and she felt a sudden emptiness in her chest. Not pain. Not the scar. But empty. Lonely. She couldn't believe she was thinking it but _I miss him_. Every meter they rolled further away from the city the more she came to realize she didn't want to leave, not without him.

"C-can we go back?" she trembled and she knew her father wondered what was going on by the shocked frown he got on his face. It quickly dissolved, much to her surprise, and she couldn't help but wonder how much he knew.

"Sure, Katie." He said without another word about why. He found a small road to turn into in order to turn around and drive back.

She couldn't help but wonder if the writer had told him something during those hours she'd been in surgery. _Did he tell him about what he said?_ Or had her father just simply figured it out on his own? Come to think about it, Castle had looked at her in a certain way the last year, ever since a right before Demming. _Maybe Espo had been right_. The writer hadn't left that summer to come back in the fall, he'd left because she was with someone else and he didn't want to stick around to watch it. Kate straightened in her seat, even though it hurt moving, and started to think about what to say. Would he forgive her for not letting him know she was okay? Did he truly love her? Did he _still_ love her? What if the reason he'd let her go was because he wasn't even there anymore? What if he went to the Hamptons? What if he didn't care anymore?

"We're here, do you want me to wait?" Her father's voice broke through her panicked thoughts and she looked at him with an as neutral look as possible.

"I'll call if I need to," she said and he nodded before he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

It made her feel safe and a sense of courage, had her mind flashing back to old childhood memories of him kissing her forehead every time she needed comfort. Carefully she started to move out of the car, bit her lower lip to not let out a groan, and said her goodbye before closing the door. She waved to him before turning around and taking a deep breath, greeting the doorman as she went past and into the building. _His_ building. She found it interesting how her father had known where she'd wanted to go without asking her, but she also supposed he'd known a lot longer than she had. Getting into the elevator she felt a huge relief of being alone, hoped she would get to ride all the way up on her own. She needed to think, needed to think of a way to tell him sorry, tell him she finally figured it out. _I figured out I love you too_.

The ride took forever, yet it wasn't slow enough. When the beep indicated she was at her destination she went out with slow steps, suddenly so afraid she wanted to turn back and continue her plan on retreating to her family's cabin. But the thoughts in her mind kept her from turning, the fear of losing him too great. The fear of it being too late already a constant reminder in her brain. She froze in front of his door, her heart pounding against her chest in a way that had her wondering if the stitches would burst. The pain pulsating with every pound had her eyes tear up and she wondered why she was doing this to herself. _Why _go through this pain for another human? _Because you love him,_ the voice inside her head answered her unspoken question. With another breath sucked in she fisted her hand and held it up to knock. The sound couldn't have been loud, because the strength in her hand, her whole body in fact, weren't what it used to be. She doubted he'd even heard the knock and was about to try knock again when the door suddenly opened and she was met with surprised blue eyes.

"Detective Beckett?" Alexis Castle said before she shook her head, as if she was trying to gather her thoughts, and opened the door more to let her in. "Come in. Dad's in the office. Did you call?" she asked and Kate didn't know what to say, just shook her head with shame evident in her movement.

Kate didn't know what her partner's daughter thought of her anymore. Alexis had always been nice to her, tolerated her, even expressed an attitude where Kate had wondered if she looked up to her, but after the shooting Kate wasn't sure the teenager would look at her the same. In the teen's eyes Kate was the reason her father had been in the crosshairs. All she could think was she wouldn't blame the girl if she didn't like her anymore.

"Dad, you have a visitor," Alexis called out as she lead Kate towards the office she'd been in quite a few times. She still remembered that time when she'd seeked him in order to get anything, even a crazy theory, that would be able to help her crack a case. He'd seen right through her then, called her out on needing him, and she'd denied it by changing topic.

"Ka-Beckett? What are you doing here?"

She could tell he was shocked simply by the tone in his voice and the look taking over his face. She felt awkward as she took slo steps into the room, hearing the teenager leaving behind her, most likely to give them some privacy. Her eyes fixates on the floor, not really feeling brave enough to meet his eyes, can't stop the thoughts that kept telling her she was too late, that he'd already moved on. _Why else didn't he call or text or bother her?_

"I-uh, I..." she felt her lower lip shivering and so she clenched her mouth together. "How are you?" she asked instead and only dared glancing at him from under her lashes.

His eyes popped wider and he started fumbling with his words before he decided on what to say. "I'm good, but what about you? Do you need to sit? Can't be good standing up too long," he looked like he was blurting out his own thoughts before he could stop them and stood up in order to gesture towards the couch standing by the window.

She shrugged her shoulders but winced at the pain it induced, which only made him more frantic to try and get her to the couch. Before she knew it he was at her side, gently putting an arm at her lower back to guide her, as gently as possible, to the couch. Figuring it was pointless to argue she sat down, feeling a bit encouraged by the way he didn't hesitate to sit down beside her.

"I'm good, considering," she said and glanced at him before looking down at her fingers fiddling at her thighs. "I was..." she started but had to pause, take a breath, before she continued. He was, as always_, oh,_ so patient with her. "I was on my way to my father's cabin, I was halfway out of town, but I couldn't... I _couldn't_ go away without seeing you first." She tried to say the things she'd decided on during the car ride back. "I needed t-... _need_ to know," she glanced at him to see his full attention was on her, saw his blues observing every inch of her face. Almost as if he had been scared he'd never see her again. In a way she supposed he had been. _I was about to leave without a word_. "Did you mean it?" _Do you love me?_

"Mean what?" he asked carefully, his blues searching her hazels of what she knew. _Right_, she'd said she didn't remember. How was he supposed to know she remembered? How was she supposed to tell him she'd remembered all along? _He'll hate me_. _Think I'm callous. _And she wouldn't blame him.

Looking down again she tried to take deep breaths, her heart was pounding again and so did the pain. She'd had a few panic attacks while at the hospital, had managed to smother them somewhat, but she was suddenly aware of the panic seeping into her veins. She felt her arms start go around her body in a hugging matter, trying to comfort herself the way she had at the hospital every time she'd felt it start. It was probably a way to try and protect her ugly heart, the still healing muscle that kept her alive.

"Be-Kate? Are you okay?" his worry went through the noise filling her mind and she realized she'd clenched her eyes closed to cope with the pain and panic running through her body.

She kept them closed as she nodded, still not wanting to admit to the emotions going through her, but they snapped open the second she felt his two hands land on her knees. He was sitting on the floor in front of her, his hands on her knees, his eyes searching hers as his thumbs started rubbing her knees in a circular motion. It was sending strange tingles up her skin, and she knew why. She'd denied it for so long but sitting there, in _his_ couch, with _his_ eyes staring into hers, and _his _hands on her knees she knew she'd wanted him all along. Ever since before Josh, even before Demming. And that kiss in the alley, the "fake" kiss, had been the only thing on her mind several nights after it happened. She wanted his lips again. She wanted _him_.

"I heard you," she whispered. Her voice barely loud enough to be hearable. "I remember."

He went silent while Kate's lower lip started shivering again. She bit it in order to keep it still, the panic attack didn't seem to come but it definitely didn't calm her heart. It was killing her not knowing what was about to happen, to not be able to read the surprised yet blank expression his blues got from her confession. The seconds turned into minutes and she wondered if he hadn't meant it, if the reason he wasn't talking was because he was trying to come up with a way to let her down gently. Because she had no doubt he didn't like her, care for her, and so even if he hadn't meant that he loved her then at least he wouldn't want to hurt her because he was still her friend.

Kate looked at his hands still in contact with her knees, his thumbs had stopped rubbing and she wondered if it was due to the shock or because he was starting to regret even touching her. There was a strong feeling inside her telling her she should touch his hand, maybe that would get him out of his trans, but at the same time there was another, equally strong, feeling telling her that if she did he would draw back and never be this close to her again. In order not to touch him, she started holding her breath, her pulse taking over her hearing as she tried to think about something else. _Maybe I should just leave._

"I meant it," he said so sudden that she flinched, looked at him with wide hazels.

"What?" It wasn't louder than a breath.

"I meant it, I love you," he clarified with a strong voice and she looked at him with a shaky breath going out of her lungs.

This time she didn't stop herself, she leaned forward with her hands claiming their places at his cheeks and pulled him closer in order to crash her lips to his. The kiss was supposed to be quick, her intention being to simply give him a longer peck to let him know she wanted him too, but with their lips connected a new kind of electricity shot through her veins and she just couldn't pull away. Especially not when he started kissing her back, when his lips parted slightly to ask permission into her mouth. A permission he was immediately given and when his taste filled her mouth she started feeling lightheaded, every other thought blown right out of her mind. It wasn't until her heart was pounding too fast, until she got aware of the pain her accelerating heart was causing her, that she had to pull away. Her breathing was nothing like normal, heaving both with pain and a sense of lust.

"Sorry, it hurts," she whispered and he shook his head.

"Don't be. Does this mean what I think it does?" he asked instead and she bit her lip.

"I've got walls, Rick, I... I can't say anything back, I..."

He shook his head again and she start chewing on her cheek. "You don't have to, that's all the answer I need." His lips broke into a smile, "And this." He leaned forward and kissed her lips again, this time more careful than earlier and she felt herself swoon.

He pulled away before it could hurt her more than it already did and she found herself smiling, her lips tingling with excitement. He smiled at her with an equal as wide smile with his blues twinkling in a way she was sure she'd never see again. After a few seconds of silence he let go of a grunt as he raised from the floor, and sat down beside her again only to open his mouth with question in his eyes.

"So, you were going to your family cabin?"

_Oh_. "Yeah, I was. I figured it would be easier to heal outside of town, away from everything and everyone," she confessed with her smile fading and her cheeks getting warm with the disappointment she felt for giving up so easily. "I'm sorry I didn't call, didn't text, but I thought... I wasn't sure I would be able to cope. It was first when we were halfway out of town that I started regretting my decision. I started thinking that ma-maybe you didn't mean what you say, because why else would you have let me be for this long without calling."

"You told me not to," he immediately defended himself and she nodded, bit her lip again.

"Yeah, but how many times haven't I before and you've called anyway?" she countered and he opened his mouth to argue but fell quiet for a few minutes before he brightened up with a smile.

"That time when you wanted me to back off when that little girl was missing," he said and she gave him a look, which had him shrugging his shoulders. "But you're right, that's just the _one_ time. I'm glad you came." His voice was as sincere as she'd ever heard it and she felt her heart skip a beat for the love she felt radiating towards her.

"Me too," she admitted with a shyness she was sure he wasn't used to see from her.

"So uhm, what's the new plan? Are you going to stay in the city?" he asked reluctantly. She sucked in a breath, she had not thought that through just yet. Hadn't even thought of it when she made the decision to go back to the city, to _him_.

"I-I don't know," she confessed.

A sudden gun shot had her throwing herself down to the ground, her breathing a painful necessity which only increased as she started looking around with panicked eyes. She felt herself crumble into a small ball as she tried to hide beside the couch, away from the windows, and she felt tears fall down her cheeks. _Where's Castle?_ Her sudden fear for her partner had her looking up to see him stand in front of her with worry in his blues as he carefully sat down on his knees, his hands out as if to calm her down. _Why isn't he taking cover?_

"Kate, it's okay, you're okay," his voice started coming through to her ears and she suddenly wondered how much sound her mind had shut out along with the panic attack. "Kate? Can you hear me? You're okay," his voice was soothing, calm. _Too calm_.

"What are you doing, get cover," she hissed and he looked towards the office opening and when she looked over there she saw his redheaded teenage daughter coming through with a confused look.

"What happened? Dad, what's wrong with detective Beckett?" the teen asked and Kate was about to yell to her to duck but the writer managed to talk before her.

"Pumpkin, did you drop something?" _Drop something?_

"Yeah, sorry, I was going through the cabinet and a pot slipped out, why?" the girl said and Kate let go of a long breath. _It wasn't a gunshot_.

"I think that answers the question, you're still going out of the city," Castle said with a soothe tone towards Kate before turning to his daughter. "I think the sound reminded her of the gunshot."

"Oh... sorry," Alexis immediately said with her blue eyes looking at the detective with concern and regret.

Kate sucked in a breath with her hand gripping her shirt by her chest, where it had automatically gone once she was beside the couch, and tried to sound as normal as possible. "It's-ah, it's okay, I'm fine."

Even though they tried to not be too obvious Kate saw the exchange of looks between her partner and the teen, both of them worried. _Too worried_. The teen said one more apology before leaving the two again and once they were alone Castle didn't hesitate to offer her his hand and help to get up. _She_, on the other hand, hesitated accepting the help but after understanding she wouldn't be able to get up without pain flooding through her veins she let him help her. They were both quiet, both needing some time to think about what just happened and what it meant. Also, Kate tried to take control of her pain, her heaving breath along with her pounding heart. It didn't take too long before the writer opened his mouth though, and to be honest Kate would've been worried if he didn't.

"I got an idea." She looked to him as they were sitting on the couch again. "Or two. I... I'm not so sure I can go the whole summer without seeing you," he started and avoided her gaze as she tried to search his blues. "So, how about I take you out to the Hamptons? I have a guest room if you don't want to share my bedroom and I can help you with everything you need help with." When he met her eyes to see the horrified look on her face he backtracked and she felt herself relax again. "Or, you can stay at the cabin and I can come visit you as often as I'm allowed," he suggested.

She thought about it. Deep down she knew it was for the best to get out of the city, get away from anything that could feed to the trauma she'd survived, but at the same time she didn't want to leave him. She didn't feel like calling her dad and continue the road trip they'd started. At least not without Castle. But having both her dad and her partner at the cabin, constantly worrying about her, wasn't exactly ideal either. She'd only stress out knowing they were worried about her all the time.

A small noise came from the kitchen and Kate thought again, biting the inside of her cheek. "I can't pull you away from your life here, you have Alexis to think about," she eventually said, her eyes set towards the redhead she could spot in between the books in the wall made of bookshelves.

"Alexis is more grown-up than me," he reminded her with a smile on his lips. "Besides," he carefully twined their fingers together, "if we go to the Hamptons she'll just come with. And if we go to your cabin I'll come home every other couple of days."

Kate glanced a look to the man beside her and saw him look at her with tenderness in his eyes. "But what would she say? What would Martha say? I'm the one they wanted dead but Castle..." she stopped to take a shivering breath, "Rick, they wouldn't hesitate to kill you too." _And I'd die if I lost you._

"Mother and Alexis wouldn't mind. I'm sure of it," he added when he saw her disbelieving look. His thumb started rubbing the back of her hand and she looked down, as if she could see the electricity he was sending into her skin by simply gazing at their touching skin.

Eventually she nodded. "I wouldn't mind you coming with me to the cabin," she whispered and she could tell he wanted to jump up and down, punching the air with excitement from the joy he felt. Instead he settled with leaning in and kissing her lips again, this time with a bit more force than the one before. She found herself parting her lips the second his tongue asked permission and as soon as his taste filled her mouth she couldn't stop the moan passing her lips. Before it could go any further she had to push away with a small "ouch".

"Sorry," he whispered and she smiled small.

"Don't be, I like this pain better than the one I have every morning when I wake up," she told him and he nodded.

"How have you been by the way? Did the doctors say anything specific now that you're released?" he asked and opened up for a whole other conversation.

Kate told him everything she knew, she might not be ready to tell him about her feelings for him but she was ready to tell him everything else. She trusted him, and she hoped the summer would open up for the possibility of them being together in every way possible.

**_THE END_**

* * *

_**A/N:** So so so so sorry for not updating anything for the past two and a half weeks, I've been busy, tired and out of inspiration for the last couple weeks. Not that I don't want to write or don't have ideas I just seem to have trouble finding the words and time for it. I hope this longer one shot will make up for it a little bit at least. I really want to say I have something else for you guys soon but I honestly don't know when I'll have time and inspiration for the next one. Hopefully it'll be sooner rather than later. Until next time, xxxx_


End file.
